Monday, March 12, 2001

HOW SAD AM I

I just purchased the Hear'Say single, When the nice lady at HMV told me they would be "IN STORE" for a CD signing tonight, I looked at her reproachfully, and snapped that I really would'nt go that far. But I did buy the single IM ONE SAD OLD FUCKER!!!. Still Its a nice song and I am sure Andy from Almighty will make it quite danceable.
Oh Dear!!!!!

My Head is in Balham, My body is at work, and my soul is in a trash can outside the Vauxhall Tavern. What a mindblowing weekend We had. The whole crowd met at Kazbar on Friday night for Ofer's official welcome drinks. Those who know me, will know that I don't really drink to much. Ofer forced half a bottle of Jack Daniels down me before we got there and I am afraid, my usual, serious, calm, capricorn exterior was blown out. I believe I was chasing the drag queen with the Schnapps shot bottle all over the bar and being 'quite camp'. Anyway, after throwing my good name away at the Kazbar, it was on to the Brewers, where We bumped into John, Danny and Royston, Also Dave 'the hedgehog person' who I had to hug at regular intervals because He had been away in the new world for ages and I had missed Him. As usual, instead of going home, it was off to Sub Station South, and I don't remember much else.... Oh God, The bouncer (yum) gave us a lift home, I thought Ai Ai, my Son, Your in here!!! but unfortunatly that wasn't to be. We had promised Ofer a trip to boots only at the Fort on Saturday afternoon, but fortunately/unfortunately we overslept.

We promised not to go out on Saturday night, and watched Popstars and Cilla like good homosexuals, and then realised that XXL was on a Saturday, Oh My God Ofer!! said I, You have to see this place.....

I was very impressed, they weren't all huge, so it was not as dire at a trip to Duke's. It had 2 well staffed bars, a huge dance floor playing all the trashy disco stuff, and a very well organised cruize area. We got home at 03h30 and decided that we had done quite well, until...

I woke up at 11h45 on Sunday, and realised that Merial, out classy friend from North London was expected for a 3 course lunch at 12h30 Woops!!!, I spead down to Sainsburys and got everything ready made, heated it all up and as usual, threw a fabulous lunch party on time. I am sure being able cater in a crisis is built in to the common garden Homo's DNA structure, along with hairdressing, flower arranging and of course wedding co-ordination. BUT the best was to follow, after abstaining for a few weeks, I returned to the Tavern, determined to have a good time at any cost (and boy did it cost me). Edna was on, but lacked something this week, or maybe the crowd were a bit shit, I dunno. But Andy started his set and we started settling in, To my horror, My vit E wasn't working, so I had a second, and still nothing. By this time people were starting to sweat and the colour was draining from their faces, NO I thought, and rushed off to complain to my friendly dealer, I didn't want to see what we all ACTUALLY look like on a Sunday afternoon. He gladly replaced my stash and I took no 3. Who knew that the other 2 were going to kick in at the same time. I experienced a huge time lapse and when I looked up it was 23h30. I did however meet and congratulate David on his A-Z of the Vauxhall, unfortunatly it was just as I was coming up and I probably made no sense at all.

We rolled into bed at 00h30, and I had very troubled dreams. Got to work an hour late and am sitting here in a pool of self inflicted cold sweat right now. My poor pupils are still like saucers, and I may not live to see this evening....

But My God It Was Worth It!!!