Gay Wedding Etiquette
1) On the day of a gay wedding, it's bad luck for the
two grooms to see each other at the gym.
2) Superstition suggests that for good luck the couple should have:
Something bold, something flirty, something trashy, something dirty.
3) Neither groom should have more products on his face than his mum.
4) It's customary at gay and lesbian nuptials for the
parents to have an open bar during the ceremony.
5) When the couple "to be" fails to register - it is understood that items
from Harvey Nics, Harrods, Heals are generally acceptable if over £150.
However, it is a big faux pas not to include the receipt in order to allow
couple to return your present and geting something that actually shows
6) Seating at the ceremony will be according to looks. Do not get upset if
you are put in the back - take it as a friendly reminder to join a gym.
7) Hooking up with someone you meet at the ceremony is OK (unless it is one
of the grooms, in which case you will need to be "OK'd" by both grooms).
8) Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from
eating wedding cake because it's all carbohydrate - however, depending on
things....they might find the need to polish off some off the sugar icing.
9) It's considered bad luck for either of the grooms
to have dated the priest, slept with the priest, or to have been an acolyte
at the priest's church.
10) During the first dance, it's considered unlucky to
use glow sticks, flags, whistles or hand held lasers, or to take one's
shirt off - sorry but that will have to wait until the parents have enjoyed
"open bar" a little more.
11) The flowers, cake, and all wedding plans will be GRAND - basically
because half the guys on the guest list will have provided sufficient input.
12) No cheap rented DJs (that's dinner suits, not the disc jockeys from the
local gay "tavern") - not even the groom's fathers are allowed to do so -
the best men's main roles are to ensure that all the straight people are
"fashionably" acceptable - or off to the back row they go.
13) No one is allowed to look better than the grooms.
14) Crying babies will be shot on sight.
15) Putting GHB in the punch is generally not acceptable unless the
ceremony was real long and boring.